Displaced and Retreating but still trying to keep up

It has been a stupidly long time since I posted due to a metric heck ton of poop I got dumped onto myself over the past few months. Now, some of it was self-induced so it isn't really any excuse that I broke my promise to myself that I would type something up here no matter what happened. I am learning however not to beat myself up horribly on these things at least and since it is good to get things out on a page and away from my mind I am going to give this another try. I won't get into what was happening that made it so I didn't have a fiber in my body that wanted to post but I will let whoever bothers to read this know the gist of what was in that heap of poop.

1. A break-up
2. Scary online dating experience
3. Finding out I may lose my job thanks to a corporate acquisition
4. General fibromyalgia induced depression and pain
5. Winter destroyed my greenhouse
6. Therapy doesn't work for me

 Though all this crazy junk is happening right now in my life, I am still really hopeful that great things are still yet to happen in my life. It feels really weird for me to say it since I am pretty bummed out about all of this stuff and have a sense of impending doom looming in my stomach but I actually feel like these terrible things are helping me grow a lot. For the first time in a long, long time I've had to sit down and force myself to really think thru everything even if it brings me to tears. I've spent hours crying, nights totally sleepless, and my days handling the nit-picky system changes testers bark at me to make. This all while starting up university again and feeling like every bone, muscle and cell in my body has been dipped in kerosene and set on fire. When I think about all this, I realize something absolutely amazing...that I am somehow still here. I made a choice to move away from bad situations. I am not at risk of losing my job because I did something wrong. I am not thinking about self-terminating or dosing up on medications anymore because I forced myself to accept myself illness and all. When we hit what feels like rock bottom, I've found myself given two options give up or figure it out. I don't have answers, I know I'll inevitably screw something up but even though I am displaced and retreating back down the hole, I reckon I can still figure out how to crawl back out. Not sure what my point was in typing this out to post...but anyway I am going to try my best!

These Makeup Ingredients Could Be Killing You

 I am sure it isn't any secret now days, but if you were living under a rock like I was for the past 8 years, you might not know that many drug store cosmetics actually contain really toxic ingredients that can increase your risk for developing cancer in the future or aggravate in-tolerances/allergies you may not know you have.
   It is a theory in fact that Fibromyalgia could also be triggered in some individuals due to dozens or even hundreds of small allergic reactions which an individual may have to common household chemicals they come into contact with throughout the day. Multiple Chemical Sensitivity Syndrome is found to overlap with illnesses like Fibromyalgia in 16% of  people who have it. 40% of people who have Chronic Fatigue are seen to also suffer from MCS. Now, the only way to really be sure if you have Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is to go and get a very intensive allergy test done, but you can always start eliminating the things which are overall bad right away. Today, I wanted to spread the word on these eight harmful chemicals and metals found in your makeup because, if you have been sick since fifteen like me, you probably want to reduce the number of variables that could make it worst.

1. Formaldehyde and/or Formaldehyde preservative- This stuff is used to keep dead people from rotting as quickly. It is a known carcinogen on the FDA list. Formaldehyde exposure is said to be possibly linked to brain tumors, hematopoietic, and lymphatic cancers. This is a common ingredient in nail polishes.
2. Petrolatum- Is an ingredient that is commonly found in creams and lotions. It is linked to skin cancer with long term use. Petrolatum is oil-based as the name implies and cannot be metabolized by the body but do penetrate the skin, meaning its really hard to get this chemical out once it is in your body. While not on the list of carcinogens provided by the FDA it is one ingredient which is hotly debated to be there.
3. Cyclomethicone and anything ending in "siloxane"- These sorts of chemicals are often found in foundations, deodorant, facial creams, and other lotions. It can be harmful to your reproductive system's health. While it leaves your skin smooth and silky, I am not sure it is worth not avoiding since reproductive system cancers have very low survival rates.
4. Parabens- Are commonly found in shampoos, conditioners, foundations, concealers, and lipsticks to name a few. This preservative is used to prevent fungus and bacteria growth in your products. This one is debatable as to whether it is truly bad or not, but it has suggested links to endocrine system disruption, reproductive toxicity and neurotoxicity, among other issues. Many companies are starting to move away from its use, but it may be something to look out for.
5.  DEA - This chemical makes that nice lather and bubble you see in a bubble bath or from a shampoo or soap most commonly. It can also be in sunscreen or moisturizer. It is on the carcinogen list and has been linked to cancer in the liver. 
6. Aluminum- Common in your kitchen and surprisingly common in your deodorants. This is something I personally am working on removing from my life in entirety. It is linked to breast cancer and there have been many studies that would strongly suggest Aluminum exposure can increase your changes of developing Dementia or Alzheimer's Disease. 
7. Lead- Is a color additive in lipstick and is not regulated in the slightest. It can cause hair loss, rashes, and a large number of other bad things to happen with prolonged exposure. This one also does not metabolize so once it gets into your body very hair or impossible to remove.
8. Mercury- Found commonly in Mascara, it is a neurotoxin and like other heavy metals will not metabolize.

 If this has been eye-opening and helpful let me know in the comments below and subscribe for more stuff like this in the future. I try and post something at least once a week. I am going to do some updates later on with brands that don't have these gross ingredients.

Tomato Horn Worms and the disturbingly gross way they die

I recently had some things come up in my life where I needed a small mental health break which started as one week but then turned into a bit over two months due to my own self-sabotaging, stubborn personality. But even with everything crazy I was processing during that time I never stopped trying to get out into my garden and make sure my plant babies were well cared for. It was during my recent clean up for my winter garden that I accidentally touched one of the biggest most creepy and gross tomato worms I have ever seen. Now I have seen tomato horn worms before, but they were only about an inch long and normally just come right off the branch or vine and are easily squashed or tossed in the garbage can. The ones that I have seen as of late have been three inches or longer and carrying around these big white egg sacs all over their bodies. Something like this picture here:

 

Super gross right?! If you are trypophobic I apologize, but I needed to share my trauma of seeing this thing in my yard...merrily eating my food. Or at least so I had thought till I did some research on why the heck it looked like this. I found out that little guys like this, covered in these gross egg sacs are in fact dying slow horrible deaths. The eggs come from a small native wasp species which eats these bad insects in the garden. What happens is once these wasp lay there eggs on the backs of the horn worm, the eggs slowly dig into its skin. Once the wasp larvae hatch, they burrow into the worm and devour its insides while it is alive. The worm then after some days or weeks dies and the freshly matured wasp go on to continue the cycle. Nature can be gross, but this nasty looking situation is actually a really really good thing. This is as organic of pest control as you can get but truly a testimony to how savage Mother Nature can be. 

If you have a gross looking pest in your garden that tops this share it with me in the comments and if you like this Blog add your email to the subscriber list. I feel about 80% back to normal so I think I will be back to doing my normal end of week posts. Happy October!

Best ways to Eliminate or Avoid Squash bugs

Every year millions of at home gardeners and farmers are plagued with the menace known as the squash bug. The breed faster than rabbits, smell like rancid milk and vinegar, are huge and eat EVERYTHING! Contrary to the name they do not just like to attack your summer squash they will take advantage of anything you leave a little less cared for. If you could not tell, I absolutely hate these little beast! But I have quickly learned a few secrets that have allowed my to keep my plants healthy and productive and today I wanted to share my top observations on how to handle these pesky little beetles.  They aren't the most traditional routes you could go, but they are very simple and you will probably have access to get this stuff if you don't own it already.

• Dish Soap works amazingly as insecticide not just for the squash bug, but for a whole host of hostile bugs which you can find crawling over your plants. All you need to do is add about a half teaspoon of it to a water filled spray bottle, spray any it directly on the bug and it will die in a matter of minutes. (Word of caution, this can burn your plants so if you accidently spray it on a large area rinse it off as soon as your sure the bug is dead.)
• Use a green house or garden tent to increase the temperature around your plant. This one I found out unintentionally while experimenting with a new greenhouse set up. In the southern area which I live, the temperature normally gets above 90 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer, but my greenhouse goes well over 100 even with the door open. The high heat levels are actually really being loved by my cucumber and squash plant and the heat seems to be keeping away the major pesks which would have already invaded by this time last year. I think its a win-win and I'll definitely do this in the years to come.

If you try these, let me know how they work out for you in the comments below and if you want to keep up with this blog subscribe with your email, its free!

The Farmer's Review: Juliet Tomatoes

When I pick plants at the beginning of the year, often times I will watch videos and read about a dozen catalogs before I narrow down what I'm putting in the ground for the year. This year though I had an early war with my neighbors cat, who decided all of my boxes, plots, and containers would be his bathroom. Thanks to the cat, who I swear is an evil genius trapped in a cute fuzzy body I actually didn't get to have the garden I initially wanted. I had wanted Roma tomatoes this year for making some delicious salsa, but the store was sold out of seedlings and by the time I won my cat war it was too late to plant seed. So rather then Roma this year I ended up with Juliet, and I am actually much happier with the variety then I had thought I would be. So since it worked out, I wanted to give a quick review on the variety and its pros and cons.

Juliet Tomatoes

The Juliet Tomato is a red indeterminate variety of tomatoes. They are a hybrid variety which is a cross between the Roma tomato and Grape Tomato varieties. In my experience with them this year, the Juliet grows tomatoes maxing about 2 inches in length and 1 inch across. They are not a sweet variety, so I was able to make some salsa with them.





Pros:

• Highly Production, you will get so many tomatoes off of this plant. It isn't even half way thru the season and I already have harvested 4 lbs of tomatoes just from my one plant and it is still flowering and producing fruit. 
•  Seems very pest resistant, I haven't noticed a lot bugs eating at it.
• Minimal maintenance, the plant has been extraordinarily healthy. I give it a little trim once every two weeks to give it some shape. It also seems to do pretty well in the high heat.  
• Good flavor, not watery but not sweet either. 
• Very versatile, the Juliet is a perfect variety for salads and sauces.

Cons:

• Needs regular harvesting to maintain fruit size, this is not a variety to allow vine ripening. The plant produces so much so quickly that if I leave them on the vine to go fully red, it will actually cause premature ripening on the smaller tomatoes. If you want to maintain good size fruit, pull them off when they just barely turn orange-yellow in color.
• A bit small, for me it makes them difficult to cut because of hand pains and spasms.
• Its a hybrid, so no seed-saving.

Overall I give this variety 8.5/10 stars, I'd give them another shot. If you grew this variety either this year or in a past year let me know how you like them in the comments below and if you liked this review feel free to set up an email subscription for notifications on new posts, its free.